1. |
After You Speak
04:04
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I've been waking up dreaming feeling terrified.
A knife in my heart, a written note left inside my mind.
I don't want to die, but living has cursed me far too many times.
Am I deserving of this life of mine?
I feel aching when I'm waking.
Is it something to mend? Or is it just my fate
to feel like this? I don't like it,
But I don't know if I should live without the pain.
My life is full of beauty, things, and people I love.
But I've been a twisted person, not been good enough.
I'm not him anymore, and even when I was,
I was just so fucking young, I was just growing up.
I'm deserving of love, I'm deserving of trust, I'm deserving of life.
I feel aching when I'm waking.
This is something to mend this is not my fate
To feel like this if I don't like it.
But I don't know if I should live without the pain.
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2. |
Laurie
04:32
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The heavy burden that is my heart,
Doesn't get any lighter,
When you bring me higher.
I swear on my life I saw a spark.
You may call me a liar,
But there's no smoke without fire.
I don't know why,
But to hold your body I would bleed mine completely dry.
To me you're as real but just as distant as the moon sitting in the sky.
I want your love but most of all I just want you in my life.
I want you in my life.
Do you think of me as much as I think of you?
A waste of my time it may be,
But no time's wasted on you, baby.
Am I just desperate for something to be desperate for?
But I wallow on my bedroom floor
Knowing that I'll never be yours
And you'll never be mine.
If that isn't a lie then why does your truth keep on wasting my time?
To me you're as warm and just as bright as the sun
Bleeding light into my life.
Please don't go, please don't leave me behind,
Without your light I am blind.
Without your light I am blind.
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3. |
Empty Shell
04:19
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You seem pretty low for someone who spends most of their time above the clouds.
Did the pressure of losing yourself outweigh the pressure of staying on the ground?
You soared straight into the sun and you got yourself burned,
But from the way you fly back, it's like it didn't even hurt.
I'm beginning to think that you like the pain.
I know I may not understand what I cannot even see.
But was my love not intoxicating enough to keep you here with me?
You flew so high in the sky that you became one with the stars,
leaving everything behind but those little white bars.
I would join you if it meant I could see you again.
I can't seem to fill up this empty shell,
I struggled to help you live, but now I struggle to live with myself.
You flew so high in the sky that you became one with the stars,
leaving everything behind but those little white bars.
I don't think I'll ever be the same again.
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4. |
My Own Friend
03:34
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It doesn't hurt anymore but I know when you go away,
Your stitches will come undone.
I can feel the hurt in my heart, I can feel it inside my brain.
A pain that has yet to come.
And it's all me I do this to myself,
But I'm scared it'll never end.
I just want to feel alive again.
I want to be my own friend.
It doesn't hurt anymore but the ache won't go away.
I would cry but I've got no more tears.
And every detail that I find is enough to make me question my own life.
I've felt this way for years.
And it's all me I do this to myself,
But I'm scared to even go to bed.
I just want to be alive again.
I want to be my own friend.
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5. |
Untitled Outro
00:53
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Holy Rat Race England, UK
Hi! My name's Chris and I make music under the name
"Holy Rat Race". I hope you enjoy what you hear.
:)
If you have a bit of money that you're willing to spare and you enjoy my work, please consider buying it. It would truly mean a lot to me. Thanks!
linktr.ee/holyratrace
... more
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